Why is it important to give time to a new parent?!

It is often said that if a mother leaves her child in someone's care and goes to exercise, to a cafe with a friend or even away from home for the whole weekend, then she is obviously a unloving mother who doesn't deserve any rewards and star of the week diploma! Wrong!

In my previous posts, I have talked about the mental health of both the mother and father and how easy it is to develop post-pregnancy depression.

When a new baby is born, many families cannot cope with the physical, and often more likely, the mental burden. Is it possible to somehow prepare for the arrival of a new baby? My answer is most definitely YES!

The easiest way is to write everything down on paper and put it in a visible place, such as the refrigerator door. The easiest thing to do is to make a plan for a few months after giving birth.

Here is a sample list that you can plan and remember:

– Menu for a couple of weeks and ready-made food portions in the freezer, so you only need to heat up meals.

– Make a shopping list and, if possible, order food and essential goods online.

– Cleaning, ironing and other household chores are not a priority. If possible, hire a cleaner who comes for a few hours once or twice a week, or if a family member offers to help, let them know that you need help with cleaning and ironing, because you can handle changing the baby's diapers and everything else related to the baby yourself.

– Sleep when the baby sleeps.

– Write down when the working parent takes care of the baby and gives free time to the other parent. A parent at home with a baby often does not have the opportunity to communicate with other adults. Things can be so busy you might not know when you will be able to eat lunch or even make a cup of tea.

– Accept help if it is offered (e.g. cleaning the house or taking the baby for a walk in the fresh air).

- To reduce stress, I recommend sharing as little information as possible about your pregnancy and childbirth, because the closer you get to the birth, the more everyone starts teaching you what to do and messages about whether the baby has already been born, maybe there is something wrong with the baby, why it hasn't been born yet, etc. Those that take the biscuit are those who push to visit the hospital when the birth is still in progress, because they want to see the baby first. Completely incomprehensible in my eyes! The birth of a baby is a very special time. This is a time for parents to spend time together and get to know the baby. Yes, grandparents can also wait until they are invited to visit.

– No guests in the hospital and at home. A polite message to send to those who want to visit will save you from additional stress. If someone really wants to come, offer a walk in the park in good weather, which gives you as a parent the opportunity to both leave the house and not worry about how long you'll need to entertain guests at home!

- Reception of guests must be agreed upon by both parents, if one does not agree with it, I recommend respecting this wish.

– You take time to do something together as a family.

- As a new mother, you decide how to feed your baby - with breast, formula milk, breast milk from a bottle or any other option. It is important that the baby is fed and the new mother feels good about herself, not guilty about her choices because of societal pressures.

– Find new friends who are also at home with babies and you can meet, go for a walk together and just chat.

– Water bottles behind the sofa cushions (so that the new mother does not get thirsty while feeding or enjoying time with the baby).

– Find someone you can trust with your baby so you can go out to the movies or dinner with your partner. The relationship between each other should not be neglected with the arrival of the baby.

– Get three notebooks:

• Keep a food diary, perhaps if you decide to breastfeed, it will be a great help to understand if the baby does not like some food that the mother has eaten and it is easy to make corrections according to the food diary.

• Notebook about baby's eating and sleep, how much, how often, ten-minute naps must also be taken into account when it comes to sleep. You can also write at the end of the day how the baby's mood was and whether it was restless or slept particularly well, etc.

• The last notebook, which I actually recommend to start using from the beginning of pregnancy, is for you to start keeping a diary. Write down everything you feel, whether it's good or bad emotions. Keeping a journal can help reduce depression during and after pregnancy. You probably don't want to tell your friends or partner about everything, and in this way you can let off steam. If you feel after giving birth that you need professional help to deal with your emotions and feelings, your diaries will be of great help to the therapist.